UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF THE MOON

Tonite is a Full Moon Eclipse, and this eclipse season during a Mercury Retrograde has got my brain reviewing this past year, especially going back to last year during this time, which was an incredibly intense eclipse season for myself personally.  I came across this old post the other day and it all flooded back in.  I have shared little snippets of that time here and there online, but never really sat down and wrote it all out.  In hindsight, that season brought such magic through darkness.  Below are some images I took during that Blood Moon.  I hold these moments deep in my heart.

This day was a turning point in my life... a threshold that I stepped over.  Pretty much my whole life, I have loved kids, even wanted to be a kindergarten teacher for a long time... but I was terrified of having my own.  When I lost my mom almost 9 years ago, the fear grew and festered into a deep ugly monster.  The thought of raising a child without her around just seemed unbearable.  Then 3 1/2 years later when I lost my dad, it got even worse.  I let fear consume me. 

On this particular full moon, I had alot of soul searching going on in my heart.  Old wounds resurfaced in a big way, and I learned just how big my fear was... not just about having a child.  But in general.  I was allowing fear to take over me.  I had situations arise that allowed me to take a deep hard look in the mirror at who I had become, who I was allowing to hold me back, and what needed to be released from my body.  I spent the entire day in my stick tipi.  Talking to the universe, digging up my bones, laying them out and examining them, and surrendering and letting them go the best I knew how.  Let's just say that full moon and I had the biggest heart to heart we had had in a long time.

I saw my very first owl in the woods that evening.  It was the most amazing experience.  It inspired me to draw the Luna Owl design we have for Skyline Fever (not knowing at the time it would become a shirt).  There were messages all around me during those weeks.

By the end of that evening, looking up at the moon as it eclipsed, I spoke out loud to the universe that I was ready to have a baby.  I told that moon that I was ready.  To carve out the space inside me for new birth to grow.  TWO WEEKS LATER on my next ovulation, I got pregnant.  I didn't know for a few more weeks, but looking back once I found out, it felt like pure MAGIC.  I have no doubt in my mind that after many tears, hours of heart to heart with myself, and lots of letting go and releasing, that I opened up space in my body to plant a new seed.  And one that I never knew could be as sweet as it is.  My little Ava Pearl truly fills so many holes that have been lingering in my body for years.  She is an angel and a healer.  To her mama at least.  She confirms my belief in Divine Timing. In the magic of this universe. In my connection with the moon.  And now she too will know that connection... as a DOUBLE cancer, born so close to a new moon, with a MOON FACE.  She is our moon baby, our little moon.

I have wanted to write this out for so long, it's only fitting I end up writing it one year later on another full moon eclipse.  Full circle.  Circle of Life.

LUNA OWL

I'm super excited to share that our new Luna Owl design is now available on 3 different shirt styles in Skyline Fever's shop!  A little below on the design...

The day of the past Full Moon / Total Lunar Eclipse / Blood Moon - I spent the whole day outside, in my teepee, with my self, my thoughts, my tools, my sketchpad, my tea, and the moon.  I did not want to let a moment go by of this special time wasted on work or something meaningless.  I spent the day in intention, and I am so glad I did.  It filled me up so deeply, and felt so healing. 

I haven't drawn for the pure pleasure of drawing in quite some time.  I could even say years.  I had no idea the owl I drew was going to be a shirt design until I was finished.  I just allowed myself to sketch.  It was a feeling that took over, like I got lost in the art.  My eyes were blurring and crossing as my pencil just flew across the page almost like it had a mind of its own.  It was awesome.  Made me realize how much I love drawing, and how long its been since I let myself get lost in the muse like that.  I may have to make this a full moon ritual.  It was wonderful.

The moon was incredible too!  Did you get to witness it where you are?  What did you do on this amazing day?  I'd love to hear everyone else's experiences. Ive been wanting to sit and write a blog post in depth about it, I have just had such little time lately.  I am crazy knee deep in the magazine creating, have had company to do photoshoots, among many other things.  Life has just been to full to even blog much.  But I'm starting to see the magazine come into itself and it's getting me super excited for it's release.  It most likely will still be about a month before it comes out, but fingers crossed it will be even sooner!

HOLSTEE MANIFESTO

This poster from Holstee adorns my studio walls, and I know I already shared it in my studio makeover post, but I thought it might be good to share as a stand alone post... I think it speaks for itself and could be read over and over and over again...

We are coming up on the most powerful full moon of the year in conjunction with an eclipse + several other intense aspects going on astrologically... Take some time this weekend to really dig deep into yourself to see what still needs letting go of, what things you would like to change about yourself and make plans on how you can actually implement them into your daily life to create real, lasting change, and what beautiful dreams you would like to see manifest in your life.  Make intent around this time.  How will you live this one precious life? What passions will you share with the world?  What will you change?

TEEPEE, FULL MOON, OWL MEDICINE

I recently decided to relocate my teepee from my front yard to my back yard.  I realized I never used it in my front yard, b/c I simply don't like hanging out there where the cars drive by.  I'm not sure why it took me so damn long to figure this out, but I'm so glad I did.  I have spent just about every spare moment I have since it's been up, in it.  I'm kind of sad its raining today just b/c I want to be out in it. 

It's funny b/c James and I started working on building it 3 days in a row and each time we failed at getting the main structure stable.  I kept getting frustrated and just stopping.  Finally, the 4th attempt worked.  Ive built two other ones and never had any issues.  I guess it was all about right timing.  It finally started coming together, and its my favorite one Ive made so far.  Ive outfitted it with my crystals, favorite sticks Ive collected over the years, and other trinkets. 

We've spent lots of time in it reading, hanging out with Bella & Violet, giving them massages, gazing at the full moon through the branches, listening to the birds, listening to music, watch the clouds, doing crafts, just laying there, drinking whiskey.  Ha ha.  Like I said, Ive spent every free moment the past several days in it. 

I adorned my outside space with all the scraps Ive cut off all the bell bottoms that are too long for me.  Which is just about all of them.  Ive been saving the scraps forever for just the right project.  This area is slowly coming together.  Two friends gave me some rad old windows that I'm still figuring out just where I'm going to keep them. 

Lots of reading the Bohemian Collective Magazine has happened in it too!  ha ha.  While I was making the bell bottoms garland above I heard some ruckus in the trees behind me, and turned to see an OWL flying from branch to branch.  I watched it dart to the ground twice to catch something, although I don't think he got what he was going after.  I have never seen an owl in the wild before.  Only heard them in the night.  My jaw was hanging wide open.  I took the risk of running inside to grab my binoculars to get a better look and I'm so glad I did.  He stayed on the same branch while I ran inside, otherwise I probably wouldn't of been able to spot him again b/c he blended in so well in the trees.  It was the most magnificent thing Ive ever seen.  I got watch up close all its crazy head movements.  There were a few times it heard me moving and put its eyes right on me.  I got to watch it for about half an hour! 

This happened on the day of the Full Moon in Scorpio, which is just so appropriate, with owl having ties to the moon and to scorpio energy.  Such great messages came through this beautiful witness.  Leading up to this day, my week was a wreck.  We had a really big emotional decision to make about my parents house, and I had to let some people that I really love down, and it hurt my heart so much to come to terms with this choice.  I found myself at a crossroads recently.  I thought it was just a crossroads with my parents house and what to do with it, but I realized it was a metaphor for the crossroads of my life.  I was at the cross roads of continuing to live in the past, or to let go in a big way and move on ahead to my future.  It was a painful decision, but I chose my future.  I'm ready.  I'm ready to move on.  To let go with ties keeping me bound to my parents house.  Let a stranger move in and walk away.  Allow this to be a big blessing in my life to dream of things I may never otherwise be able to attain. 

It was the first time since I can remember feeling like I made a choice that defined my life, and myself as well.  In what I was capable of.  Emotionally.  I felt an weight lift, and a shift in my heart.  Something was very tangled in that choice.  And we still have so much go through before the house is actually sold and gone, but I felt like I took the first step on the beginning of a new path, and good god it feels amazing. 

After the Owl visited me, we went to town and a turkey flew across the road right in front of our car.  Owl & Turkey have been two of my messengers for quite some time, and this full moon, they made themselves very up close and in  my face in brand new ways, and I couldn't be more thankful for them.  Sometimes I really believe my parents speak to me from beyond the dead through the animal world.