I am sitting here in a quiet house, a rare occasion these days, with nothing but the sound of the wind outside + my diffuser whirring next to me. I’m consumed with the swirling scent of peppermint + lemon. Try it, it’s so refreshing. I waited until James + Ava went to his mom’s house for a few hours before starting today’s post. I didn’t want it to be tangled with interruptions every 30 seconds (legit real life with a 3 yo). After revamping this blog all day long yesterday, I had dreams all night of this space. It feels exciting to get back to it. Even now, feeling my fingers glide across the keyboard. This is what I missed. I’m so over typing out captions with one finger on a phone. Call me old school, but I really prefer a keyboard and an actual desktop computer. I hate how you can’t even appreciate how beautiful a blog is on a phone b/c of the way it’s layed out. It’s just not the same.
So here I am, coming back into this space. I have tried over the past few years to pick back up where I left off, but it never stuck. I even tried starting a whole new blog after Ava was born, Mama Bird Little Wing. I didn’t want this space to turn into a mommy blog, was my thought. But then I began to feel pigeon holed over there and realized I definitely couldn’t keep up with two blogs just for fun, so I quit that too. Everything has it’s time and place though, I believe. So, here we go again…
I have a pattern though, with Mercury Retrogrades. It always comes out of left field and rolls in with a fierce fire of excitement. I revisit old things. That is the natural thing to do during this time. But it always happens unexpectedly and unintentionally. So, I understand I have this pattern of returning to old projects, getting all fired up, sticking with them for a little while, and then one day I don’t, and it’s over. Always during a retrograde. I was born during a retrograde and have always felt pretty connected with these spaces of time. This time, I want to recognize this pattern, and be intentional with how I handle it. And in this space, I want to give myself permission to write about whatever the fuck I want to, whenever I want to. That feels freeing. Like the good ol’ beginning days.
What I miss the most about blogging was the community that was formed through it. I have friendships today from over a decade ago that were formed b/c of my little blog. They were connections that ran deep enough to stand the test of time even after all the blogs died. I think that says something.
So, here’s to trying this thing again, without expectations or limitations, on my own terms, as it should be. If you are reading this, leave a comment and let me know how long you have been reading my blog. Anyone remember the old blogspot? I think I started blogging in 2009…
Sending you all visions of sunshine on this cold, wet + windy day. xo