HONORING, REMEMBERING, LEAVING & LOVING

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Yesterday was my mama's birthday.  It would of been her big 60th.  Kind of weird to think about it.  I would have loved to see her grow into a wise old woman.  I can only imagine how her spirit would of grown through the years. 

I started the day with some time spent in my tee pee in the beautiful morning light while the grass was still dewy.  I made a little alter with her photo, snipped some lavender for her, and placed my teepee crystals around it.  As I was having a conversation with her I look down and a few inches in front of the altar I found this little silver feather charm.  I have no clue where it came from b/c its not one of the styles I ever bought for my jewelry line.  And I don't remember ever having a piece of jewelry with it on it.  But now I will!  I'm going to make myself a little something special with it to remember this day.

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Saturday we had plans to go out to my parents house to spend some time there and start saying our goodbyes since it might sell soon.  We originally tried to get friends and family out there to have a goodbye party, but it just did not work out with anyone, so we cancelled.  By the time saturday rolled around I was just having a really hard day and did not feel like being around anyone.  So instead, my brother and I decided to go out there on sunday, just us, his son, and James.  I'm so glad it turned out the way it did.  It was a really nice day, and it was my Mama's birthday, so it was extra special.  We took a long walk through the woods together, we spread my dad's ashes, and I took it all in...

Since we recently had a flood, the pond that has been dry for ages out there is now completely full and so beautiful.  We walked down by it to spread some of my dad's ashes to find that one of the swan's had returned.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  I just know it was a sign from my mom.  She loved those swans so much and its been so many years since they have been out there due to the drought.  It was an amazing and touching thing to witness on this day.  I didn't have my real camera with me, so the photo above was the best shot I could get.  I'm going to try to get out there and take more soon. 

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Aiden was so sweet helping us spread my dad's ashes.  We put some in the garden, in the fire pit, and in the pond.  I was so glad he was there with us to be a part of it.  Even though he doesn't remember his grandparents, he knows of them, and will always have our stories.

Our friend gave us some flowers to take out there with us, which was such a sweet gesture.  We left some of them on top of dad's ashes in the fire pit.  The rest I took home and made a garland for my window to keep.

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via rootsandfeathers.com

During our time out there I had many little encounters with beautiful animal medicine that was very fitting... The swan for one.  Butterflies + Dragonflies. And I found a snake skeleton.  I have never seen one before, and it was such a cool find. 

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The part of the day had to be when my brother and Aiden came to our house and Aiden got to meet Banjo.  He fell in love with him so hard.  He completely wore my cat out!  Ha ha.  He had so much fun with him and he just kept saying over and over how much he loved Banjo.  Although he asked if he could name him Tickles, ha ha.

I can't think of anything my mother would of wanted more for her birthday then to see her kids hanging out together and enjoying each other.  xo