MOON MAPPING

I am feeling a deep void returning to my bones.  Maybe its just a seasonal cycle I have not yet brought into my awareness.  It's been amazing watching my moods and longings shift with the moons patterns.  I haven't been disciplined enough to really keep track of it, but the times I have made the connections, I find so very interesting.  For as long as I can remember I have felt the pull of her tides, like I have always just known she is holding my hands while guiding me through the oceans of life, sometimes with huge waves crashing down and sometimes beautiful calm waters with sunny skies.  All with their own purpose.  Yet in my humanness, purpose seems to not feel so wonderful in the moment.  Sometimes its hard to see through the salty waters stinging my eyes to know the tides will go back out.  Having my Planet ruled by the moon, feels like an ever-changing flow of emotions.  As if while floating down a river, everytime I come to a rock that bumps me, or the waters flip my body upside down, I am on to a new emotion.  It is common to feel a wide range of emotions all within an hour for me.  And it is the same for how I feel about people, places, ideas, etc. 

I just spent some time mapping out my next month so as the moon moves through each sign I will know what house it is affecting at a glance.  I'm learning to do this through the Transit Reading class with KV and I'm loving it!  She has broken it all down so it is so simple to understand.  I can't wait to go back and see the connection to my emotional states during certain times in the cycle.  Its also been fun to look up the specific placements in my birthchart and re-read them to see how it is connecting with me at the moment.  This process is never-ending and ever-evolving, I love it!

(The photo is just from a lunch yesterday while reading my chart, snacking on some yummy fruits...)

NEW MOON INTENTIONS

Since we are still in the energy of our second beautiful new moon of the year, I spent some time this morning with my New Moon Journal from Aquarius Nation (I love this thing).  I wanted to last night, but after eating three tostados, I was feeling a bit of a food hangover, and James was home with the tv on... so I decided to wait until this morning when I had nothing but the quiet silence of the early morning.  There is such a special feeling around a new moon.  I'm a list and goal oriented person (even though I'm too scatter brained to remember to look at them after making them)... but the intention is there... and something about physically writing things down in this manner tend to make them stick for me.  Plus I get to reflect back when I sit down to make my next new moon intentions, and see which ones have already manifested, or which ones are the works, or which ones are still taking time to grow...  Such a fun process!

I have been working my little tail off this month, and I have decided to take some time off this weekend to clean my house and get things back in order.  Create new space that feels alive again.  And I think Im going to start that process today. 

Happy New Moon!  (for info on this moons energy check out this post on the bohemian collective)

LAYING THE FOUNDATION // 2014 WORDS

Choosing my word for the year has been a bit more challenging than I thought.  I could not narrow it down, so I finally decided, I did not need to narrow it down.  There are no rules to this thing.  Last year my word was CULTIVATE.  It was a very broad work encompassing alot of aspects of life, mainly focusing on connections, healing, self love and more. I feel like last year was a very transformational year, with a great deal of healing occurring.  I unearthed alot of layers of self, found many wounds that needed attention, came across old bones that I thought were buried, found myself lost, uncertain, on the verge of breakdowns, along side tremendous moments of grace, feeling held and seen, self forgiveness and breaths of fresh air in relationship. 

This year, my words are GUIDE, NOURISH, HOME, FERTILE & VISION.  And this is how I see each of their presences in my life this year...

GUIDE // This word came to me a few times through tarot readings, wishing to connect with my parents spirits in a new way, finding two lapis lazuli stones that have become my 'mother' & 'father' companions in my personal spirit work, desiring to find some animal medicine to work closely with this year and in general opening up to a deeper connection to spirit.  I feel a motherly sense to this word, with a grandmothers wisdom.

NOURISH // This is a big one for me this year.  This is one I held high on my lists all last year as a priority, and always allowed myself to get in the way.  I want to nourish my body.  For my self, my happiness, my aging, my future child and more.  I want to treat myself with a massive amount of self care from the inside out.  Ways in which I would like to take care of myself are:

     - eat well, stay hydrated, do lots of yoga, exercise, take my vitamins, spend alot more time outdoors, ride my bike, take walks, say nice to things to my body, dance, hoop, seasonal cleanses, spend more time in the kitchen (planning meals, trying new things and learning new ways of cooking), rest (allowing myself to stop working, or gasp... have weekends)

HOME // This year is going to be difficult, b/c we most likely will be selling my parents home (fingers crossed it sells that quickly).  As much as I do not want to let it go, it is what is in the cards, and the sooner it happens, the sooner I can move on with my life in that way.  I have had such an attachment to it, that I have allowed myself to be held back with our own home.  I want to spend time this year really loving on our home... improving our backyard, renovating little things, (hopefully) preparing a nursery, etc.  Really allowing myself to be fully immersed in this house.  I feel like I always have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, especially with this house.  But I need to be in the present with it, no matter if we stay here or not.  Also in this category, is a bit of relationship stuff too.  I want to create more home environment to bring James and I closer this year. 

FERTILE // This was going to be my word for the year, but I felt like it didn't sum it all up good enough.  To me this represents so much more than just being fertile for a child, although that is one thing on the wishlist.  I want to be fertile for new opportunity, new growth, new friendships, new ways of loving, creating a child, spiritual growth, and so much more.  I feel like the word Nourish ties into this so well, b/c this is how I will be opening myself up to becoming fertile, by taking true care of myself. 

VISION //  This word was the card I drew for my 2014 overall theme.  It also came to me 3 times in the month of December during some very intense readings.  Vision quest.  Spending good time alone, with silence, going within, working with my spirit guides, and allowing the visions to come.  Honestly, this word is too big for me to define at the moment, so I will just leave it at that.

Have you chosen a word for year?  I'd love to know what you chose if so.  Sometimes hearing others words can help us to care for ourselves in those ways too...

TWENTY FOURTEEN

Hello brand new year.  Something about this new year feels different than the others before.  Lighter, more hopeful.  A feeling of being supported, from my guides and angels, from the universe, from my higher power.  A knowing that I am safe, cradled, loved, as well as given permission to go out there and explore, make mistakes, and scrape my knees.  Knowing I have the gift to make up my mind what my earthy experiences are going to be, and how I am going to react or handle them.  And that if I feel myself feeling taken over by fear, guilt, shame, longing, resentment... all I need to do is go within and take a closer look at why, and then choose to find another path.  There is always another path.  If you can't see it, keep rubbing those eyes sleepy head. 

We found this little birdie egg on our doorstep the other day.  I haven't found a bird egg since I was a little girl.  The fact that it was right there, welcoming us home, the same week we have fully welcomed the idea of bringing a new little one into our lives felt very connected.  The birdie that goes off by itself sometimes in our house has gone off twice this week too.  I can feel my mother's presence so intensely.  Literally the past two weeks I have been told how much I look like my mother about 30 times.  From friends online to family members I haven't seen in a while.  And when they look at me, its almost as if they really are looking at my mom.  Like they are a bit stunned at what they are looking at.  I'll share an image below that I put together yesterday of me and my mom side by side...

I snapped a bunch of old pictures when I was at my Nanna's house last weekend, I'll share more soon.  They are wonderful.  Even found one with my black lipstick in high school!  But lately I am seeing more and more of my mom in myself.  I don't know if its b/c I have decided I want to be a mother soon, or if it's the part of me that feels herself coming into her womanhood in a new way... Maybe a bit of both. 

I have felt a shift occur within me lately.  I think the first day I recognized it was Thanksgiving day.  And it's become more and more apparent since then, really hitting me this week.  There have been some heart burdens I have been carrying with me for a few years now, so old I can't even really name them anymore, or understand why they would still be there... and after years trying to release them with no real change, it is like all of a sudden they are gone.  Last full moon I did another releasing fire ceremony and really gave it my heart, and since then it is like a veil has been lifted and I realize I can simply walk forward with my life with no worries of the past, no longing to change how things went, no guilt around the death... like a brand new start.  It honestly just came with a change of thought patterns.  As I was putting up my christmas tree I remember talking out loud to myself and I found my self cursing and talking increasingly faster and louder about the things I just wanted the f out of my body.  I think that was the beginning of my true voice coming through and standing up for itself.  It felt good, like I could almost feel the layers peeling off of me in that moment.  I'm sure there will be more layers... but then again, I have conditioned myself to believe there are always more layers.  Maybe this time, this was it.  Maybe this one is over. 

This was on the packaging from a gift from a dear friend this christmas.  MAKE SOME MAGIC.  Let's say CHEERS to making some magic in 2014.