MOOREA'S 52 LISTS PROJECT

I have been following along with my friend Moorea's 52 Lists project as I can.  I decided to keep most of my lists private and just for myself and my own healing and transformation.  But this one I thought I would share b/c its more light and fun, and I wanted to spread the word about her amazing project before it gets too deep in, b/c I think everyone would benefit from it.  Im a list person, so as soon as I saw her post about it, I got a wee bit excited b/c I love making lists.  I wasn't able to jump right in at the time, so I have gone back and printed out all of the lists up until about a week ago, so you can do the same if you are behind and feeling like you cant start b/c you haven't been doing it each week.  I tend to get behind on almost every online project or e-course I ever do.  So I always just know I can print things out and do them on my own time, and that works for me.  I realized a while back there is no point in pressuring myself to keep up with anyone else, b/c this is my own process. 

So, back to Moorea's lists.  They are pretty life changing, even in little ways.  Some are more deep thinking and some are more light and simple like this one.  But each one gets you really thinking about yourself, and your personal growth and development, which I think is good for anyone.  If anything, it helps you to feel more connected with yourself.  I think the more connected we are with ourselves, the more we can honestly and opening connect with others.  So I think what Moorea is doing is great.  And I know she is going to be doing some big change the world kind of things in her life.   

*My photo layout above is directly inspired by her layouts.* 

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Go checkout her 52 Lists Project here. 

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On another note, I hope everyone went to check out their horoscope with KV yesterday.  They are some seriously amazing reports.  And if you missed it, there are some really good releasing and grounding rituals, along with some free art! 

RELEASE

Diving into the rio abajo rio.  Today's Gemini moon stirred me up.  My energy was mixed with high emotions, feistiness, and a deep need to release some things through dance and art.  And that is just what I did.  I got down and dirty on my hard wood floors, and then I got inspired to break out the camera and turn those emotions into tangible art.  This is my way of working things out.  Its how I heal from aggression, pain and sorrow, as well as how I express in more happy states.  So... these are the product of today. 

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You can click on the images above to see them bigger in a slideshow.

The amazing fabric I found last week for my gypsy flags, but I honestly don't think I can cut this fabric up.  I nearly fainted when I found it at goodwill.  Not a stain or tear.  Its magic.  Truly.

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All pieces are handmade items from amazing etsy sellers...

headband // run with the tribe  ::  crochet scarf // softspoken  ::  crochet bikini top // noelebelle  ::  boyshorts // naughtynaughty

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I added a section for my creative photoshoots... Under Creative Fire, you will see photography.  xo.

IN THE STILLNESS OF SURRENDER

Different forms of this quote above have been popping into my life alot the past week or so.   I have always felt that the universe holds me and supports me, in ways much deeper than I can do myself at times.  But even in that trusting, there are times when things seem so big, or so deep, that it is hard to just allow and trust.

I have been a little quiet in this space as far as personal stuff goes.  My heart is being pulled in many directions right now, through future dreams, and past wounds that still need alot of healing.  Im in a place right now where I need to be a bit quieter and reserved with my thoughts... Which will mean alot more on the surface posts, like outfits and random photos... For the time being.  I will come out of my shell again, but there are times when healing really needs to be done in a quiet safe place, and this is one of them.  And some of my dreams stirring in my heart are way out of my control at the moment, so surrendering to the flow of the universe is what Im trying to do.  A much harder journey for me than trying to make something happen. 

My quieter, behind the scenes connections have meant so much to me lately.  There are a few women who have made me feel so held, and I am so very grateful for their love.  Actually in a knee dropping kind of way.  I wish so badly these ladies were right down the road so I could have a cup of jo and sit on the couch with them over these conversations.  But I will take what I can get! 

Please just hold me in this space for a while.  And know that even though you may be seeing alot outfit posts, giveaways and photos of my creations lately, there is an ocean below the surface, and Im learning to ride its waves at the moment.

ENVISION // RELEASE // DREAM

News Years Eve was nothing short of Magic this year.  I pulled my advent window word in the morning and it was Envision.  After having spent doing almost nothing for two days but envisioning, it felt soooooo confirming.  For the past few days I have been having wild visions of living at my parents house, and bringing it back to life and full of love.  For so long now I have felt it would be too hard to live there b/c of both of them dying there.  But as time has gone on, I have been feeling more and more led to finding deep healing out there.  I picture bringing people together out there.  Reuniting my parents friends and family each year for easter like my parents used to do.  Having woman gatherings, full moon gatherings, yoga gatherings, art gatherings, herbal gatherings... so many things.  Like a place for healing.  All of these visions feel so real and so needed, yet so unattainable with so many odds stacked against us.  So what I have decided to do is to just put my 'envisions' out there, and allow the universe to open the doors if this is where I am led to be.  I am putting my trust in the holding of the great spirit, to know my higher purpose, and whether or not this is the grounding it needs to thrive.

After lots of envisioning, I decided to pull a spread on the meditation of the very idea of moving out there.  These are the cards I drew.  The Past: Pierced Shield (the tower) The Present: Seed (the fool) Future: Vision (the hanged man)  Reading through these (all major arcana) there was so much in depth information.  I will be going back to read again and again.

Then for our New Year's celebration, James requested that we do a releasing ceremony like we did last year.  He really enjoyed it and I thought it was so sweet that he initiated it. 

We both spent some time writing down all the things we wanted to let go from this past year and then we released them into the fire.  We took turns reading them out loud and putting our intentions out there.  It always feels so good sharing like this, b/c its things we might not talk about otherwise.  It was beautiful to share this with James.

I had the sudden urge to release some of my dad's ashes into the fire.  I have yet to let go of any of them b/c I have just not been ready.  I felt like I could finally do it without losing it.  James helped me open up the box, and I mixed a handful of his ashes with some lavender buds, two rose petals and two pieces of white sage.  One for him and one for my mom.  I spoke some words on releasing his spirit, releasing him and myself from the sadness and anger of his decision, let him know how much I loved him, and wanted him to be free.  Then we released the ashes into the fire and just watched for a little while.  It felt so good, and no tears were shed.  Although it would of been okay if they were, it made me happy that I was able to do this with such a clear mind.  (

this is my first new years I did not drink any alcohol and it felt pretty good!

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We also made a page of things we wanted to cultivate for the new year.  I thought James baby one was super cute and had to photograph the memory.  I decided not to burn mine so I could look back on it through the year.

Now, if you are still here, I have the most incredible experience to share.  After this wonderful releasing of my dad's ashes, he visited me in my dreams.  It was the most intense real dream I think Ive ever had.  I remember dreaming I was laying in bed.  It felt more like I was awake and actually experiencing it, but I know it was a dream.  I saw my dad's face right in front of mine, real close.  His hair was long like when he would grow it out.  He placed his hands on my cheeks.  He told me he was sorry for leaving, he told me he loved me.  I told him to.  I don't remember all that was said, but I remember feeling like he was genuinely sorry and full of love, and I too for him.  I let him know he could go be with mom now.  Then he jumped onto the image of a vinyl I was holding.  It was a dark vinyl with lots of tiny white stars all over it.  It reminded me of my favorite Donovan album Cosmic Wheels that I have kept as art in my home since I was a teenager.  (I stole it from my parents).  When he landed on the vinyl, he was a while sillouette of a person.  I saw him leap and join another white sillouette and they ran across the page together where they joined a few more white sillouettes.  I just remember feeling like it was him joining my mom and meeting up with their other friends who have passed on. I saw them turn into a bright light that beamed across the page and then they all turned into stars.  The stars began to move and swirl.  Then they all spiraled into the mouth of a fetus.  It looked like a sonogram image where you just see the sillouette of the baby.  The stars entered the belly of the baby.  Then I woke up.  I remember feeling such a deep connection running through humanity and all of the earth and stars and beyond.  Like we are all cosmic starseeds, all a part of each other.  And also the feeling that when we have our baby, my parents will be starseeds within them.  This was truly an incredible experience.  I woke up this morning feeling like everything is going to be okay.

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